Wednesday, 25 November 2015

When your heart's not in it...


Hi guys!

I've got something to tell you all...

This post has been very difficult for me to write... in fact I've lost count of how many times I've started writing it, only to discard it and start again...
There is no easy way to to say this, so I guess I'm just going to have to say it:

There is a BIG change coming...

For those of you that know me personally, or have been following me for some time on social media, you've probably sensed that something's up in my personal life...
Well....It's a biggie:

The last year and a half has been really tough , and without going in to too much detail, things are not working out for me here in the UK on a personal level.
It's been an accumulation of things...circumstances no one could ever predict, illness, struggles and emotions....it's all been too much. And it's affected my health and happiness to the point where I thought I could not go on...
So I've made a decision...the toughest decision of my life: 
To end my marriage and relocate to Norway!


I've been heartbroken for so long now, that finally making this decision feels like a step towards regaining some control over my downward spiraling life...

I am not going to try to justify my decision, just know that I've got to the point where I could see no other option:
So I am leaving the UK...life as I know it, my marriage, my husband, my best friend for the last 17 years of my life...the life we've had together and the home we've built for our little family...Everything I've worked for....


So this Christmas me and Little Miss Moo is moving back to Norway...to start again!
I'm not going to lie:
I know it's going to be tough on us all:
Living with my mum and Dad again, at the age of 38, a single mum, no job, no house....nothing...I'ts not exactly how I envisaged my life turning out....But I really feel like this is the right thing to do for me....and for Mia , at this point...and I know that with the support of my friends and family back home: I CAN DO THIS!!
Mia will be starting school in Norway in the new year....It's not going to be easy for her: She doesn't speak any Norwegian (One of my biggest regrets) and no doubt she'll miss her old school friends, her home and most importantly: Her dad...her hero!!
But it's going to be toughest of all for my husband....to be on his own, without his little girl greeting him when he comes home after work each day...
After more than 17 years together, it is heartbreaking to think about....and even though the decision has been made, I still think to myself : HOW CAN I DO THIS??


But too much stuff has happened, stuff that's been no-ones fault....a sad set of circumstances,  and it has changed the dynamics of our relationship...to the point where there is no going back...

So as much as I struggle liking myself at the moment, for what I am about to do, at the very least I am true to my feelings, honest and willing to take the fall for my decision... 
And as unfair as this situation is , for everybody, at least I am giving us all a fair chance of something real....a new start and a chance to make it right!
I don't want Mia to ever think it's OK to settle for anything less than Happiness, and by doing this....this HUGE BIG THING....I am hoping to set an example for my daughter: To always follow your heart and go for Happiness!!
(Even when your heart is broken and happiness seems an awful long way away...)


I truly believe that if you don't like what you're doing, how you're feeling or the way you're life's turned out:
MAKE A CHANGE!!
DO SOMETHING!
CHASE THE DREAM!
    BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN!

At least that's what I tell myself....

So...
I don't usually get this personal here on the blog, but I thought you all should know what's going on...
Because, I am going to struggle keeping up with all the blog stuff in amidst all the stuff going on and the things I need to get organised in the next couple of months....with the move to Norway and settling into our new life there.
So please bare with me in this difficult and highly emotional time...I am planning on keeping up with the blog, but posts may be a bit sporadic, and I may have to take some time out over Christmas and the new year....

But here's the exciting bit:
Imagine all the new and wonderful adventures I'm going to be able to tell you all about once I've landed on my feet in Norway....
House-hunting, decorating, Scandinavian decor, furnishings and trends....Exciting new collaborations....Not to mention : Lots of new DIY projects!!


So, please bare with me, and wish us luck in our new adventure in Norway....I will keep blogging, with a little help from some awesome blogger friends of mine.... until the BIG MOVE, but then I may go quiet for a while....Don't forget me....
I'LL BE BACK!!
All images via Pinterest

10 comments:

Claire said...

Wow, that is big news. But it sounds like the right decision for you and Little Miss Moo at this time. I'm sure it will be painful but you will get through this with the help of family and friends. All your readers will be completely understanding about your blog perhaps going on the back burner whilst you settle in. So stay strong and know that 2016 will be better. Sending positive thoughts your way :)

Karen said...

June, my heart breaks reading this. I can tell how hard it's been for you to put all these words together. A most beautiful post from someone I consider a kindred spirit. Sending all the positive energy you need right now x

Kimberly Duran said...

Hun, your readers and the friends you've made through blogging will be right there with you, cheering you on and supporting whatever decision you make (me included)! Sending big hugs as this was clearly a difficult post for you to write but I think you are being very brave to take this step and wish you all the very best of luck in the new adventure that awaits. xxx

karen jones said...

oh dear June. Such a hard decision to make and to write this post. it takes so much courage to not settle for second best and to make changes to improve our lives. So many of us settle for things that don't truly make us happy out of fear of change. A beautifully written post, full of pain and regret but not of blame. I wish I wish I knew you personally and not just a short time through blogging.

Hugs to you for the future and for a happy, fulfilled life in Norway xxx

Maxine Brady said...

xxx thinking of you June and your little girl xxx

Lizzie @ Living Pretty said...

I wish you absolutely the best. I moved back home after 9 years abroad and it was honestly a lot tougher than you'd expect (even without a divorce). And I've had someone very close suffer from mental illness (for the last two years and still going, but slowly getting better now) as I think you once mentioned your husband had. I think it's hard to understand what they're going through but also very hard to explain what those close to them go through unless you've been there. Don't feel guilty - some things are beyond our control. Good luck with your move and I will definitely look forward to hearing more about Norway as you get settled. Best wishes x

Zoe V said...

Good luck. A truly brave decision but sounds like the right one. All of my friends who have been through a divorce with children have all cone out smiling on tbe other side and the family relationships are also much easier and positive. Good luck once again.

Beate Einen said...

Masse lykke til June! Det høres ut som du har en tøff tid i møte men også mye bak deg...håper ting blir bedre snart! Føler virklig med deg!..livet er ikke alltid en dans på roser...men det er som i sangen,..."what doesent kill you make you stronger"...tenkte mye på det i tiden etter at min mor gikk bort...lykke til med en ny start. Stor klem fra Beate

june olsen said...

Thank you all for your supportive words girls....sorry I'm not giving each of you a personal reply, but as you can probably appreciate, it's hard to hold it all together alt the moment, so I am saving my strength....just know that I appreciate your comments! <3

Meeka Louise ♥ said...

Aww June! I shed a tear for you all whilst reading this blog post. I am so sorry that things have turned out this way and that you shall be leaving the UK. However, I too am a firm believer that if you do not like something you make the changes and you get to your life goal another way. I am glad you have this to hold onto, and I am know you will be happy and also like yourself again soon. Its so hard to make change, especially when those changes affect other people in your life. I know you will succeed.
And lastly, I certainly will bare with you! I can't wait to hear all about Scandinavia (I love it!) and I can't wait to see what you and Mia make of your life over there. She will be fine, kids always bounce right back! As long as you settle, she will. I will be looking over some of your older DIY posts for Christmas this year too. Much love, Meeka

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